Last Friday was Good Friday, but this day is generally associated with bad omens, bad things, bad luck, just bad and scary, so this is our Friday the 13th roll call of some of the bad or confusing breakups of Hollyweird. When we call you out, say here or something.

We’re going to let Mel Gibson kick things off today. We “heard” he’s ranting again and letting certain groups and exes have a piece of his “mind.” Now we’re not saying that Mel can’t be a nice guy sometimes, but he’s gone waaaaay overboard on many many occasions and so, it’s time to give it up, Mr. Gibson. He’s now threatening to kill Oksana Grigorieva, his ex-girlfriend and mother of their daughter. We don’t have any audio or video for you to gawk at, but you can already imagine the depths of some of the madness he’s probably spewed. We sure hope they can come to a resolution and understanding because they need to. Of absolute importance, their daughter needs two parents who can do the right thing for her.

Next up: What’s up with Deion Sanders and Pilar Sanders? Are they getting a divorce or what?!!! Between their family fights, money arguing, cheating allegations and other goings on, well what’s up?!!! They too have offspring in the mix that they most certainly need to be looking out for, so it may be about time for them to wrap things up. Wow, such a cool couple they seemed to be, as we’ve mentioned before. Fitness buffs, love birds, family oriented and such. Now they can’t even get along for a millisecond. Their marriage may have been a good one while it lasted, but, uh, it really may be time to stop drawing this whole sherade out and go ahead and stand before a divorce judge!

Who’s up next? Well it’s Adam Levine! Hi Adam! He’s got those “Moves Like Jagger,” but those sweet moves didn’t keep his ex from leaving him on the dance floor. He seems to be doing well, although most don’t really know what happened between the two of them…and we guess it’s no one’s business ultimately anyway. But get this! Why won’t he holla’ at Jennifer Love Hewitt?! She was allegedly after him!!! She’s got her newfound profession and all and will hopefully be raking in some revenue! Now why wouldn’t he want to give this hot honey a chance?! She’s great, inside and out. John Mayer even wrote a song about her! Wanna’ hear it? Well, sorry we don’t have it, but yeah, he wrote a song about her. She wants you on her Client List, Adam. Think about giving her a chance, handsome man.

The Friday the 13th roll call continues with Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez. Ummmm, so, Marc goes ahead and files the divorce papers, huh?!! Hmmmm. Guess all those public appearances, time spent together and other “together” shenanigans didn’t do the trick. They really seem like they could make things work, but we think they just don’t want to. Well, they have the twins together, so their relationship will still sort of exist. We really thought J.Lo was going to be the one to file papers though, since she seemed real anxious to get the heck out of that union. We have a feeling they’re going to be acting like Courteney Cox and David Arquette for awhile, nonetheless. They’ll be all like, ‘We’re not together, but we love each other, but we go on dates and make out, but we’ll always love each other, but we see other people, but we’re in love, but we’re with other people…we love each other.”

Last, but not least. What in the ham sandwhich is going on with Vanessa Paradis and Johnny Depp?! Are they together, are they married, do they live in the U.S., do they live overseas, where are they?!!!! The rumors kind of still persist about these two and their relationship. When Vanessa was asked about it all, she gave some cryptic answer that may have made sense to somebody, but yeah. Johnny Depp has never addressed it. Hey, is he really dating one of the Olsen twins or both of the Olsen twins?! Ok, we’re going to guess Vanessa and Johnny and over, but they don’t want anyone to know. No, we’re going to guess that they’re together, but they’re are dating other people too. Oh, we’re confused!!! Vanessa and Johnny, call us!